


How

by Sonamae



Series: The Divorce [3]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Erik's turn, M/M, Memories, More sad, Post Movie, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 21:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1617560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamae/pseuds/Sonamae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik can't stop thinking about Charles, and it hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How

 “Snap out of it, we need to go.” Raven whispered when she was walking toward Azazel. “Get us out of here, now.” She snapped at the other man, then called out to Hank.  There was a punch of nausea as they were teleported.  Erik’s mind was so far back, too far _gone_ to realize where they were.  
  
 “Erik?” Charles couldn’t stop smiling as they walked side by side along the grounds, gravel crunching under their feet.  He looked like an angel in the glow from the oncoming sunset, and Erik swallowed as he brushed the thought away.  This wasn’t up for debate, _Charles_ wasn’t up for debate.  That relationship was one line he couldn’t step over, Charles was too perfect for him to fuck up.  
  
 “Yes Charles?” He kept his voice calm and steady.  Inside his body was crawling, something skittering about like millipedes across his bones.  Unconsciously he reached out, feeling the hum of metal around him steady his itch for flight.  Charles’ watch was a thrum that made him want to sigh in content.  It was so soft and warm, wrapped around Charles’ wrist in a way he had always wanted to do.  
  
 “You seem distracted.” Charles slowed their walk, thumbs tucked into the pockets of his slacks.  Erik just huffed, but it was still a happy noise.  Of _course_ only Charles would get him to make that kind of sound.  
  
 “I am,” he admitted when they stopped by a railing, “I’m worried about Shaw.” It was only half a lie.  
  
 “No you aren’t… I mean, you are, but that isn’t what you’re dwelling on.  You’re sort of… broadcasting, it’s loud.  Indecipherable through all that metal, but still loud enough I can get the picture.” Charles smiled and Erik felt his stomach drop. “I have to admit, I share your sentiment.” His cheeks flushed.  
  
 Erik could feel Charles’ pulse speed up, pressed against the watch.  The soft copper on his shirt buttons warming as his breathing picked up.  Charles was flustered and trying to keep calm.  On the surface he looked like his normal mischievous self, but Erik could feel that lie.  What did this mean?  
  
 He chanced it, threw a thought of desire to hold and to kiss, to curl up next to Charles in bed after a long day and just lay next to him.  
  
 Charles visibly took a breath, hands trembling before he cooled down and blushed.  Erik could feel his pulse skip a beat, then Charles’ do the same against the metal. “How?” Erik reeled himself back, too scared to continue his words.  
  
 “How what?” Charles asked, confused now. “How can I admit to feeling the same way you do?  Or how can I feel that way about another man?” His temperature rose, anger beneath the surface. “How can I love you?  I can‘t explain it with words, I was never good at words.” Erik felt his own breath stutter this time.  
  
 “I’m a monster.” Erik reached out, hand cupping Charles’ cheek. “You’ve seen it, every detail is in your thoughts, how could you harbor feelings like that for me?” He couldn’t stop his thumb brushing against Charles’ cheek.  It made him close his eyes, only momentarily.  
  
 Charles reached out as well, hand cupped around Erik’s as he turned his face to kiss Erik’s palm. “Because I can.  You may not want something out of this out of a misguided fear, but I _do_.  I‘ve never been happier than when I’m with you.  I’ve never felt more… _loved_ , genuinely.” His words were soft, just a touch of pleading in them as he smiled.  Erik tried not to shiver, tried to keep everything under control as he felt Charles brush gently against his mind in question. “May I?”  
  
 Erik choked out a yes before he could help himself, almost buckling into that soft mental touch.  Warmth spread through him, churning his insides and stopping the skitter across his bones.  Pure bliss, pure calm and the sweet sounds of Charles humming in his mind as they leaned closer to kiss.  He would never regret saying yes to this man, never in a million years.  
  
 He didn’t regret it.  
  
 He abhorred it.  How could he have done this, how could he have let this happen?  Around him everyone was quiet as they settled into this new place.  This new home.  He’d fucked up, he’d fucked up so _badly_.  Without thinking, he dove back into his memory, back into Charles’ arms and that happy smile and laugh as they pulled apart for air.  
  
 He’d hold onto it for only a few moments longer, then he’d lock it away for a rainy day.  He’d only bring Charles’ back when he could no longer handle being Magneto anymore.  
  
 God only knew when that would be.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sona: "Is there a song that just goes 'I FUCKED UP, I FUCKED UP I'M TRASH' because that's Erik 1000%."  
> Shin: "Just on repeat to a sad violin for three minutes."
> 
> How by The Neighborhood
> 
> Part three of 'The Divorce' series. These are in no particular order, just jumping about and punching people in the soul.


End file.
